America Tells Europe. Give us the Eurovision and we’ll give you dollars.

President Obama has handed an olive branch to the Eurozone members and pledged. If America were allowed to perform in the next Eurovision Song Contest, the United States would provide members of the Eurozone with as much financial support as they needed. Speaking at the Whitehouse, Mr Obama said that the US would support Europe with “however many dollars it needed to get them out of the hole...

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Cher but not Cher alike – Cheryl Cole in trouble with name change

Cher the legendary singer from the sixties, with such hits as “If I could turn back time.” And “I got you babe.” Has contacted Cheryl Cole’s management to advise the tiny pop star, not to go any further with her name changes or she will face a lawsuit. A spokeswoman for Cher said, “ We heard recently that Cheryl Cole will now be known as Cheryl, and that is fine by us. But we are...

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Queens Jubilee. Tax man tells unemployed to pay up.

Unemployed people across the U.K have woken up to letters from the tax office, demanding that they pay a small contribution towards the recent Queens Jubilee concert. After examining the viewing figures for the celebrations, it was pointed out to the tax office, that out of the 9 million people who enjoyed the concert at home, at least 1.6 million of them were unemployed and therefore did not...

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Telephone conversation between David Cameron and Francis Maude – Before panic at the petrol stations

Telephone conversation between David Cameron and Francis Maude – Before panic at the petrol stations

David Cameron:  Hello Francis. Hope you are well. Francis Maude: Oh hello David. How jolly nice to hear from you. What can I do for you old boy? David Cameron: Well you know all this talk about cash for access, and accepting donations for favours. And how I have to reveal all the people I invited to Downing St for Dinner. Someone is going to smell a rat soon. Francis Maude: Oh yes terrible...

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GPS to predict the dreaded arrival of the mother in law

GPS to predict the dreaded arrival of the mother in law

Professor Kuryia Wananake of Hokidoki University in Japan. Believes he has found a way to predict the arrival of mother in laws. By analysing GPS signals and measuring electrical discharge content in the atmosphere, he has found a way to warn men and women of the impending dangers of the dreaded mother in law visiting the house. He said “When a mother in law sets out of the house she is on a...

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Government urges drug dealers to implement a minimum price for all drug sold.

Government urges drug dealers to implement a minimum price for all drug sold.

The government have asked all drug dealers to create minimum pricing plans. For the illegal drugs that they sell. Tobacco, alcohol and cannabis. Have long been known as the 3 major “gateway drugs” The government say they are tackling the tobacco and alcohol industry by increasing the prices. But they have no control over cannabis and other illegal drugs. So they are pleading with all known...

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